A COMMUNAL EXPERIMENT IN SELF CURATION

a Soul Project

archival : please, not yet :

I don't feel completely safe. I'll be honest, Dylan is a dream. I respect and admire his opinions (of which he has many), I feel his love for me and know I can believe in it, and he makes me feel worthwhile and beautiful in many ways.

Still, I fear him. We all have damaged children inside of us, but I fear the little boy beyond Dylan's high walls. Who am I to a little boy? Even adult Dylan is young to love. Even he admits he barely knows what he's doing. Fear, fear. He fears, I fear. I've dealt with enough young lovers to have lost my taste for them. Chris, gerald, others. I can't endure many more mistakes. I'm still broken, and I'm not positive Dylan has ever been whole. Does this combination work, or is it a recipe for disaster?

I'll try. This person gets my full, final effort. Give it everything you have, Kaylin. If not this, then sleep, sleep. I'll try, but I'm afraid of battle. I have barely any fight left in me. Please, please. Please. Please. Please.