// part of a soul project
I've been hiding for some months. I had to cut a friend I'd loved out of my heart, and the space has been slowly stitching up. Sometimes we can part ways with a person and still hold on to our love for them. I have a few past relationships that I miss profusely and send a little thought of love out into the world when I think of them. We may have shared pain or differences, but they earned a lasting respect from me. Well wishes, little loves. See you in the future.
And yet there's no ignoring the difference when someone has truly earned their place OUT of your life. I often choose to trust a time or two past seeing the signs, past experiencing the disrespect. I want so badly to believe that people will make use of another chance, an opportunity to level up. And when you're outright being asked for that chance? Oh, the heartstrings they pull! We can all choose to be ready, to try again and take a route we can be proud of. Were they truly ready? I chose to trust, despite every injustice that friend had inflicted. I gave them the benefit of every doubt they created, til the bitter end. That, I can be proud of.
Finally though, a recurring lesson surfaced: the dishonor only stops if you stop it yourself. I had been leaving my door open for a person who was abusing the privilege, entering with praise and false self-awareness and then quickly exiting with excuses and accusations. Okay, then. BOY BYE 🍋 Door now shut.
I wish healing were as cut and dry as that, though. Once I realized I could end the pain their pull & push caused, shutting the door was easy. Recovery, though? This surgery removed a Sister from my heart—I've been bruised, tender, confused, wary. But I've been healing, and gently but firmly pushing myself to get there... plus, making magic and meeting fantastic people throughout. Shoutout again to @_tienaustin who is one serious artist and hell of an adventure partner!
So, False Sisters be gone! Out of the many lessons to be learned from Sad Summer, the idea of Sisterhood has come alive within me, burgeoning with questions to explore and blockages to overcome 👍🏽