a Soul Project

archival : waiting :

Life loses its luster without Gerald.
There are others. There will always be others.
But there isn't this one, perfect, imperfect person.
I'm waiting for Friday and my body clock is all wrong.
I'm waiting for July 1st but not sure if it'll turn out how I hope.
I don't even know what I hope, anymore.

He told me he was never truly in love with me.
He says he doesn't know what being in love is.

I struggle to keep my head above the water,
I tread and thrash until the liquid churns and I spew and sputter.

I care. I care that you never cared about me the same.
But I don't care, either. I don't care because I still love you.
I'm still in love with you.
I have been since the first day I met you.
And that's that.

I'll talk to you on Friday.