archival : so close :
I came within sight, today.
I saw the tops of the trees
we came together under.
We were in that forest, once.
The mosquitos bit our bare legs
and we claimed the woodland bench.
Its things like wilderness outings
that I've shared only with you.
I've been thinking about it a lot lately,
enough to keep me crying to songs
I should be far bored of by now.
So today, with your mountain
overlooking the tennis courts,
that ugly, heartless blonde bitch
floundering her way through singles,
and the first spring rays gracing
our small town with their presence,
I cried a little more for what we lost.
I imagined myself showing up at your door
with a racket and balls,
smiling the only way I'd know how.
I imagined asking you to come out and play
a friendly game of tennis.
And I could do that if I wanted, any day now.
I could come to your door
for just one glimpse: you're that close,
But I'll never have that courage.
I barely have the courage
to speak your name aloud.
It still hurts,
and I wonder if I cross your mind