a Soul Project

archival : first picture :

I don't know how
to put it into words.
He got them done.
He got them at Kevin Barry.
Did they mention me?
Did they remember who
I smiled for?
I'm uneasy because of Evelyn.
I like her, I have from the beginning,
but what can I do
with how I feel?
I wish her luck.
I wish it to them both,
just as I did before.
I wonder... will he love her?
Will she find her heart
caught in her throat
when she sees him from
across a room?
Will she feel his pain
when he tells her about
his troubles.
Will she know him
like I knew him,
or will he have grown enough
to have saved his
better sides
while purging further faults.
I know I'm getting
ahead of myself. I know.
But I still can't bring myself
to live with such
close reminders, like Evelyn,
that I now lack something
I would give my life for.
Its funny, though,
how damn patient I've been.
I've slipped here and there,
but I've left him alone.
I'm doing it for him,
and for me,
but mostly for him.
I hate this distance.
Ha, and he's only just across town.